It hurts. Life simply hurts at times, no two ways about it. Let’s just be honest, sometimes you just want to throw in the towel and say, “I quit!” Do you ever just wish you could unplug your emotions and become numb to people and the circumstances around you? I know I do, more than I would like to admit at times. Unfortunately, we can’t. However, we do have a resource that can help us disconnect and plug into a more powerful supply, and that is God.
Today, I had a conversation with a special person in my life and during it; I was struggling with my emotions. I hung up the phone feeling an array of feelings and not liking any of them. Mostly, I knew there were some things I needed to hand over to God immediately because I was so uncomfortable with the struggle going on inside myself. I just wanted to be out of my own skin! Have you ever felt that way? God, for whatever reason was using this person to reveal some things in my heart. Honestly, I didn’t like the evidence I was seeing. Literally, I wanted to just hide from myself and God. Probably how Adam and eve felt in the Garden. I wanted to stuff those emotions down and hide them deeper but as most of you know, God is all about bringing light and truth to those places in us that need to be aligned to His Word for one reason only and that is for Freedom! This is the first step to healing for all of us, is recognizing the sin that lies within our hearts and confessing it.
Freedom, what an awesome word and more so, what an awesome experience. God is in the business of restoration and freedom. In His loving grace and plan for our lives, He knows what relationships and situations to use to bring us closer to Him. After my phone conversation, I stood in my kitchen and began to cry. I began to wipe the tears and talk to God about what I was feeling. The one thing about God is He is a superb listener. I felt His presence right there with me as I agonized over each emotion. I lifted them up to Him without guilt, without embarrassment, without regret. Instead, as each emotion was confessed, the freer I became and then there was peace. My true heart was placed on the altar of grace. It felt good to be real, to be transparent, and to be human. No one was there pointing a finger judging me or preaching to me about how I should feel or better yet, how to solve it. Instead, I was met with acceptance, forgiveness and love. I was in my Heavenly Daddy’s arms! It was a safe place of comfort, security and peace. I long to always be there. I was grateful for the moment and began to praise Him for it! It is those moments that we draw to the One who loves us and adores us and wants to pour out His compassion on us.
In the end, God did speak some truth to me gently as He wiped my tears away. He reminded me of His love for me and how He knew how I felt. After all, God knows every detail of my life, even the amount of hairs on my head. He simply allowed me the opportunity to be humble and truthful without fear. I loved the intimacy I have with Him. There is nothing that compares to that. However, He reminded me that life begins with Him and will end with Him. Oh, the truth of that is compelling to say the least.
You see, it was on the cross with His only Son, Jesus, that death was conquered, along with all my sins. God reminded me that through the death of my sin and the resurrection of His son’s life, that LIFE for me was transformed forever. In other words, my life was bought for me that day! My life was thought of, started and planned for and began at the very last breath of His son, Jesus. As Jesus took his last breath, God breathed it into me that day! He also reminded me that though life has its ups and downs, we have the power over the down side. Before, the down side would surely have lead me to death spiritually and sometimes even physically. My life has been paved with promise; the promise of redemption for every situation, the promise of HOPE over every tragedy, the promise of truth over every lie and the promise healing over my emotions and physical body. Life is exactly what it is; a LIFE worth living for.
The secret is to choose it in the midst of your circumstances. You must not only choose life but more so believe in it. It is when you do this, that you become empowered into His death and Resurrection. It is almost as intimate as feeling the power of Jesus’ blood pumping through your very own veins, giving you life today. Blood carries oxygen to the heart and the blood of Jesus is what gives you the right to breathe freedom into your lungs today. So, choose life today. It was bought for you and is your inheritance and right over every situation you find yourself in.
Grow in grace,
Kimchi
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